Fearfully.

Bless the day
This restoration is complete.
Dirty dusty something must be underneath.
So I scrape and I scuff
Though it's never quite enough.
I'm starting to see me finally.

A gallery of paintings new and paintings old.
I guess it's no surprise that I'm no Michael Angelo.
Every layer of mine hides a lovely design.
It might take a little patience,
It might take a little time

But you called me beautiful
When you saw my shame
And you placed me on the wall
Anyway.

-“Anyway” by Nicole Nordeman

This song was recently shown to me by one of my best friends/campus minister, Jen. From the first word through the last, there was no denying that this song is exactly where my heart is right now. For the past few months, I’ve been trying to cling to Psalm 139:14. (For I am fearfully and wonderfully made.) Every day I see things in myself that need to be worked on; Parts of me that are still in need of being molded by God. At times, I catch myself asking “I am so far from perfect. How could God see me as perfect? Fearfully and wonderfully made?” This song, however, opened my eyes to a lot!

I’ve been in love before. And when I was in love, I was so in love that the imperfections of the one I loved did nothing but make me love them more. Maybe that’s just the girly side of me. Or maybe that is something I got from my Father— a characteristic of God’s that I received. Because, like this song said, He sees our shame. He sees it! Every bit of it! And He puts us on the wall anyways! When we see nothing good in ourselves, He sees beauty. Beauty!! Not prettiness. Not attractiveness. Not just physical delight, but BEAUTY! Exquisiteness. Magnificence. Elegance. Perfection. That is what He sees!

We forget that. Instead of holding on to God’s words and promises, we rely on our own emotions; our own understandings. We let the world coax us into thinking we are not enough. But why? Why do we allow ourselves to believe such lies? FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. Fearfully! I have never been told the exact meaning of the word “fearfully” in this context, but I believe that when God made us, he was scared to mess up. Because He wanted to make us perfect—without mistake—He was careful. Fearfully, as in He cared so much that He took His time so He wouldn’t mess up. Maybe my interpretation of the word is way off. But either way, “fearfully” is a strong word. And if it’s meaning was not as strong, I don’t think it would have been put in the verse.

This blog isn’t as long as my others. But I don’t see a problem with that. God laid this on my heart and I got straight to the point. Short and honest. I don’t think anything more is needed.

Fearfully.

Say it out loud.

Hear the word.

Feel it.

Tell me it doesn’t have an effect on your heart. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You!

So, bless the day this restoration is complete; When we truly realize our beauty in God.

-Brittany Jade