Superhero Expectations

We live in a world surrounded by media. Movies and shows overtake a major part of our time and thoughts. This season, we are drowning in the Avengers waves. People everywhere are going on and on about this movie. I have no doubt that it’s a great movie and I even want to see it myself, but tonight, thinking about it, I realized how things like this build our expectations. 

With June 19^th (my mission trip to Venezuela) quickly approaching, I am currently in a phase where my nerves are in bundles, hiding in the pit of my stomach. For months now, we have been preparing, praying and counting down the days until we take flight into this amazing journey God has planned. I am excited, don’t get me wrong, and I understand that saying I have knots in my stomach doesn't sound the best. It has caused moments of stress, worry and frustration within me. Just a moment ago, however, I realized exactly where it’s all coming from! It isn’t a lack of desire or from safety fears. I now realize that it has been due to the expectations I have put on myself! 

We smother ourselves with superheroes and fairy tales and then expect our lives to be mirror images of what we see. I think it is about time to wipe those expectations away. I will never be a superhero who wears colorful, metal protection or one who can quickly fly to save the world. I will never have the strength to carry everyone around me and I cannot imagine that anyone would truly expect me too. I am no superhero. There is only One. But I know Him. So as I embark on this amazing mission God has laid before me, I ask that you would pray with me—that you would pray a reminder over me, that I don’t have to be a superhero in Caracas, Venezuelia. Would you pray an reassurance over me? Would you pray that I walk in the authority, trust and faith that my God, my superhero, has it all in His hand and that He will use me as His willing vessel? Because I can’t save anyone. I have no super powers or magic mechanisms and I’ll never be able to fly. But I do have the answer. Please pray that I would not, in any circumstance, lose sight of this. Please join with me and pray that this mission trip would be glorifying and fruitful for our Superhero’s Kingdom. 

In His Love,

Brittany Jade

Would You Even Let HIM In?

Four teenage boys wandered into church one Sunday morning. As service started, they made their way to the back pew. They sat beside each other with their John Deer hats on. As their gaze was fixed on the pastor, a deacon of the church walked behind the boys sitting on the pew. With his finger, he quickly flicked the hat off of each head and mumbled something about respect. Without hesitation, the boys rose, collected their hats and left the church. They never returned.

In another church somewhere, service was starting and the choir began the first hymn of the morning. A homeless man entered the sanctuary. His clothes were smothered in dirt, sweat and the smell of loneliness. His hair was matted to his head and his shoes full of holes. As he made his way down the aisle looking for a seat, not one person would slide over and let him sit in their pew. After several looks of rejection from the men and woman already seated, he quickly made his way down towards the pulpit. In between the first pews, right in the center where the aisle ended, he had a seat. Individuals throughout the church let out gasps of disbelief, judgment and disgust. Not once did the homeless man turn back to battle such gasps with his own. Instead, his eyes were fixated on the pastor, waiting for the message. Suddenly, an elderly man stood from his seat on the pew. He slowly made his way into the aisle. All eyes watched in wonder. The elderly man walked to the homeless man and as everyone else sat up in intensity waiting to hear what would be said to the unordinary visitor, he calmly sat in the middle of the aisle beside him.

Recently, I shared a video in Sunday school. The poet highlights some amazing points and thought provoking quotes. Such points included “Church isn’t a museum for the pretty. It’s a hospital for the broken.” and “Just because you call some people blind, it doesn’t give you vision.” An amazing discussion came from this video. Questions were asked. Thoughts were shared. But one line from the poem casted conviction on us all: “If Jesus came to your church, would they actually let Him in?” In our conversation, I replaced one word. My edit of the line became “If Jesus came to your church, would YOU actually let Him in?” Truth is, not all of the hearts in the Youth room that morning could answer yes, and those that could knew it wouldn’t be an automatic answer in such a situation.

After leaving church that day, I started to question myself on how churches become museums instead of hospitals and why we are so quick to call others blind before actually receiving God’s vision ourselves. Still, I do not know the answers. One thing I am certain about, however, is that our church wants to know God’s face. We long to know His voice and feel His presence, even in our imperfection. But are we overlooking someone? Are we missing a “homeless” man or woman, thirsty for God’s Word and provision? Are we focusing on the dress code instead of the broken hearts of the younger generation? We are not perfect, nor will we ever be perfect. But God’s love is, and that’s what we are supposed to be sharing. So I ask that you join me in praying that our vision would be God’s alone; that His heart would form our actions. And that most of all, our home would be a home for all.

In His Love,

Brittany Jade

In Search of His Face

This morning, as I sat in my pew and listened to the message being preached, I could not help but notice an encounter occurring on in front of me. As my ears filled with the scripture being presented, my eyes fixated on the most beautiful image I have seen in a long while. A baby boy was in the lap of his grandfather. Their faces were facing each other and I watched as his big blue eyes raced around the lining of his grandfather’s face. He was fascinated. He was fixated and in awe.

After a few minutes of searching his grandfather’s face with his eyes, I could tell he was not satisfied. And then he raised his hands to his grandfather’s face. As his small hands were slowly and carefully gliding across his grandfather’s face, trying to feel the shape and texture and warmth, I felt my heart ask one question: “When is the last time you crawled up in your Father’s lap just to see and feel his face?”

Often, I crawl into my Heavenly Father’s lap to cry on His shoulder or to bring forth my requests. Sometimes I simply go for conversation. I am no stranger in His lap. But this morning, I realized that I am a foreigner to the idea of climbing into His lap just to see and feel His face. We are supposed to have child-like faith. We are supposed to be in search of the pure beauty of His face. We are not called to seek only His helping hands in times of trouble or to only run to Him when we feel alone. I am learning with every passing day that in order to truly follow God, you have to be in love with who He is. Not what He does. And so today, I ask you to join me in falling in love again. May we seek His face, be in awe of the beauty that we find and renew our fascination of the Father daily.

In His Love,

Brittany Jade

A Heart Remodeled

“But friends, that's exactly who we are: children of God. And that's only the beginning. Who knows how we'll end up! What we know is that when Christ is openly revealed, we'll see him—and in seeing him, become like him. All of us who look forward to his Coming stay ready, with the glistening purity of Jesus' life as a model for our own.” -1 John 3:2 MSG

There is a house in Radford that I drive by often. I have always seen it as the perfect house. Not too big, on the friendly side of town and a nice Tuscan-blue color. It has always looked so welcoming and put together. In an odd way, driving by it has always given me a sense of comfort.

Today, however, I drove by the house seeking that few seconds of comfort it usually gives and for the first time ever, I had to stop my car. There was a man with a tool in his hand that was taking the siding of the house off one by one. He was in no rush and seemed to be so careful.

As I watched the man take his time with this house, two things hit me: 1. For the longest time, I have looked at that house and viewed it as perfect. Today, I realized that what I saw on the outside was not all that mattered. In order for that house to be remodeled, there was apparently something not right about it. Maybe those living in it are the only ones who can see the leaks and destruction on the inside. But it’s there. 2. That man—the one taking his time in order to do the job right—is like God in our lives. Sometimes, from the outside, we look perfectly fine. But God knows the leaks and destruction within us. And instead of leaving us (moving to a new “house”) He takes His time to mold us. Piece by piece, He allows His healing hands to form us into what we have been called to be. How if we just let Him, He takes our lives and transforms them.

But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’²¹ Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use? –Romans 9:20-21 MSG

May God remodel our hearts; that we may be able to move more closely with His spirit and in His will.

In His Love, Brittany Jade.

The Volume of Silence

Words are my comfort. They soothe me. I’m the type who can feel words wrap around me. Their warmth, like a gentle embrace, allows me to forget the world around me. I cling to their every meaning. This can be both healthy and dangerous. Words I seek to hear save me. Those that I would prefer not to hear, on the other hand, break me down. Like antagonists, they plot to destroy. And they do. The very thing I cling to, can instantly ruin me.

I was recently trying to explain to someone very special to me that words can truly change someone. They can dry tears and right wrongs in the matter of seconds. They can steal smiles and wreck relationships with very little effort. Words are powerful. They will make or break you. Psalm 18:21 says “death and life are in the power of the tongue.” But what can be just as prevailing? Silence.

I have never been one to seek silence. And for the longest time I allowed myself to build up this half-truth that things can only be done by words; Arguments will only resolve with conversation, lyrics are what make every song effective, etc. And I used The Word to back up my little conclusion. I would cling to things like Psalm 86:7 (In the day of my trouble I will call upon thee: for You will answer me.) and make my own understanding. An understanding that would, in return, give me a skewed interpretation of the Word of God. “Call unto the Lord, for that is the only way He will answer” I continued to tell myself. I replayed that thought in my head a thousand times and forced myself to keep calling out to Him—screaming even. But what I never took into consideration is that no matter how many times you ask a question, if you do not pause and listen, you will never hear an answer.

God has never once stopped talking to me. He has always been whispering love and truths into my ear. When I call upon Him, He answers. The question, however, that I had to ask myself is “Why am I not hearing Him?” And finally, after spending so much of my quiet times in tears wondering why I hadn’t heard Him, I waited. I took breath after breath without speaking one word. Without thinking. And then there He was. No closer than He had been before. Because He had always been so close to me. But for the first time in a long while, I could hear Him. More than a faint whisper or a soft answer from within. I could HEAR Him. And with the words He was speaking, I could feel His heartbeat. In mine.

In the silence is where I found Him. When I stopped relying on words and sought His presence instead, He redefined intimacy for me. So in a world that screams for answers and is not content until someone screams them back, try to remember that the volume of silence can be louder than any spoken word. And when you finally allow yourself to give in and be still, that understand is the one that surpasses all.

In His Love,

Brittany Jade.

Fearfully.

Bless the day
This restoration is complete.
Dirty dusty something must be underneath.
So I scrape and I scuff
Though it's never quite enough.
I'm starting to see me finally.

A gallery of paintings new and paintings old.
I guess it's no surprise that I'm no Michael Angelo.
Every layer of mine hides a lovely design.
It might take a little patience,
It might take a little time

But you called me beautiful
When you saw my shame
And you placed me on the wall
Anyway.

-“Anyway” by Nicole Nordeman

This song was recently shown to me by one of my best friends/campus minister, Jen. From the first word through the last, there was no denying that this song is exactly where my heart is right now. For the past few months, I’ve been trying to cling to Psalm 139:14. (For I am fearfully and wonderfully made.) Every day I see things in myself that need to be worked on; Parts of me that are still in need of being molded by God. At times, I catch myself asking “I am so far from perfect. How could God see me as perfect? Fearfully and wonderfully made?” This song, however, opened my eyes to a lot!

I’ve been in love before. And when I was in love, I was so in love that the imperfections of the one I loved did nothing but make me love them more. Maybe that’s just the girly side of me. Or maybe that is something I got from my Father— a characteristic of God’s that I received. Because, like this song said, He sees our shame. He sees it! Every bit of it! And He puts us on the wall anyways! When we see nothing good in ourselves, He sees beauty. Beauty!! Not prettiness. Not attractiveness. Not just physical delight, but BEAUTY! Exquisiteness. Magnificence. Elegance. Perfection. That is what He sees!

We forget that. Instead of holding on to God’s words and promises, we rely on our own emotions; our own understandings. We let the world coax us into thinking we are not enough. But why? Why do we allow ourselves to believe such lies? FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. Fearfully! I have never been told the exact meaning of the word “fearfully” in this context, but I believe that when God made us, he was scared to mess up. Because He wanted to make us perfect—without mistake—He was careful. Fearfully, as in He cared so much that He took His time so He wouldn’t mess up. Maybe my interpretation of the word is way off. But either way, “fearfully” is a strong word. And if it’s meaning was not as strong, I don’t think it would have been put in the verse.

This blog isn’t as long as my others. But I don’t see a problem with that. God laid this on my heart and I got straight to the point. Short and honest. I don’t think anything more is needed.

Fearfully.

Say it out loud.

Hear the word.

Feel it.

Tell me it doesn’t have an effect on your heart. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You!

So, bless the day this restoration is complete; When we truly realize our beauty in God.

-Brittany Jade

Confessions: Who are we satisfying?

When I was younger, I always wanted one of those kitchen sets. You know, the ones with a stove, sink, oven, microwave, and all the little dishes and foods. They were always so appealing to me. For years I asked for one. One never came. Looking back, I realize how much that broke my young heart. Although that seems like a very small letdown, I’ve realized that it left a scar. I felt robbed. May sound dumb to you, but I was offended.

I never really got to have a childhood. Not like others do. By the time I was 10, I was practically running a household. Most children that age live for chicken nuggets, coloring books, elementary school, and Saturday morning cartoons. I, on the other hand, was different. I was in charge of making sure my mom was up and ready for work before I got on the bus to go to school. When school was over and the bus dropped me off at home, I had to clean the entire house (including dusting everything, mopping, etc) by the time my mom got home from work. If that wasn’t done in time, I paid for it with pain. I lived a life of fear. Even while writing this, I catch my hands shaking a little. I was terrified. Depression and anxiety had set in by the time I was 11. They seemed to arrive at the same time that my mom’s drug addiction did. After living a life full of letdowns and negative comments like “You’re ugly. You’re stupid. You are no one. No one will ever love you”, I have found that I believed them. Even worse, is that I caught myself repeating them in my heart.

No, I’m not trying to give my life story. That would take way more than a couple hundred words. But I do have a point. Many of us were robbed of things we were younger, whether it be love, support, or whatever else. Not all of us had the movie-like childhood. Because of that, most of us have let things sink in. We’ve allowed certain things to attach to our hearts—bury themselves in our core. Things like “I will never be good enough.” Or “no one will ever love me. I’m not deserving of it.” What I have learned in the past couple of months is that the Enemy wants just that. That’s how he gets us. He feeds us these lies and we cling to them. We cling because it’s all we’ve ever heard or because we can’t help but feel any different. It’s not cool and it’s cruel enough to kill, but we have a roll in it. We choose to believe it. We are the ones who let it sink into our hearts. Yes, it may start when we are too young to realize what is going on, but now we can see it. If you really look down deep, you’ll realize what I’m talking about. How many times have you had a thought like “Man, I would love to do that!” and then followed it with “Nah, I would never be able to do that. I don’t have what it takes. I’m not good enough”? Or how many times have you looked in the mirror when about to leave home and said to yourself, “Wow, I look like crap today”? See! We do have a part in this! And although a lot of the things we say are smothered in sarcasm and humor, it doesn’t mean that we don’t believe or feel it. In reality, it’s a defense mechanism. It’s a way for us to express our true emotions without anyone paying too much attention to it.

But it has to stop here! We have to wake up and except the fact that we can no longer hide behind the Enemy’s lies. He doesn’t deserve the satisfaction! And we are freely giving it to him! And let’s not forget, Psalm 139. If you are a Christian, you’ve always heard that God loves you no matter what you do; No matter how much you mess up. So when reading this, my mind—and heart—are always in awe. Psalm 139:3 says “You are familiar with all my ways.” God knows all! He knows you! He knows me. And its not a passing knowledge. It’s an in depth knowledge. He knows EVERYTHING about us. And still loves us! Even in our darkest hour, He refuses to hide in the shadows. Psalm 139:14 is written “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Why can’t we say that every time we look in the mirror? Why can’t that be our confession every day? And as far as not being good enough, God never puts you up against something you cannot handle with His strength. And let me tell you, I’ve learned that God qualifies the called. He doesn’t call the qualified. So keep that in mind when deciding your daily confession. Our words really do shape our lives. So let your words be God’s words.

Some of us have been robbed of many things. It wasn’t fair, I know. But don’t let the things you have been robbed of become more than God. For the treasures He has stored for you (and I) are far more than any worldly possessions could be. Cling to that…

In awe of Him,

Brittay Jade.