Psalm 151

If I were to write a Psalm, here’s how it would go:

Lord, when will the morning come?

You’ve promised light and truth to wash over my night

Yet I have yet to see it.

Darkness surrounds me.

How much longer must I drown in the dusk of my thoughts

How much longer will my faded strength be all I have

How much longer?

Rescue me.

I beg You, rescue me from this pit.

I crave joy

I hunger for peace.

I sing your name

Though my voice is barely audible

My mouth releases praises

But my heart only aches.

Where are you, Lord?

Have you placed me in the corner?

Is this payoff for my lack of love?

Is this the shelf on which idleness has placed me?

How long until you take me down, dust me off and renew the heart within me?

How long, Lord?

For I seek restoration.

Renewing, I need.

Save me, Lord.

Save me, my God.

The Best Novel

                A few weeks ago, I began writing a novel. I love writing and have always wanted to push my limits and go big. When summer came around, I saw it as the perfect opportunity. And so I began! Only one day in, I realized I needed to plan first. I couldn’t write a story if I didn’t know where it was going, what the struggles and excitements would be or who would bring the story to life. I began mapping. I made a list of character names with a small description of each. I then made a map of how these characters would relate to each other, when they would meet and what they might look like at the end of this book. I wrote down a few themes that I wanted to be sure stood out within the words on each page and then I stood back and admired the chaos I had caused on paper.

                At first glance, it didn’t look like a smooth story. The twist, turns, ups and downs make it seem almost impossible. But being the one who planned it all, I knew that not only would it work out, it would also be beautiful in the end. I began writing the introductory chapter soon after and I am currently a fourth of the way through it!

                As I have been working on this novel, I have learned a lot more about God and His plans than I ever expected to learn while writing. See, like myself, God had a vision. He valued that vision so much that He decided to draw out a plan. He developed characters, relationships, twists, lessons, romance, healing and so much more. He knew what He wanted His ending to look like and sought out to write a story that would make its way to such an ending. And that’s when He wrote it! He wrote the story of my life. He did the same for you.

               

                Often times, I find myself in the first chapter, longing for the tenth. Or I find myself in the middle of His novel, wanting to rush to get to the end. I sometimes flip to the back, looking for an index to tell me when I’ll meet my husband, how long I have to wait for my dream job or when I’ll welcome the birth of my first child. But no index is to be found. As impatient as I sometimes am, the lack of knowing has never really been easy for me. But what I’ve been reminded of in this new adventure I’m on is that God is an amazing writer. He is poetic, romantic, honest and thoughtful. Each chapter does not give the answers for the next, but it sets a stage for learning and loving, struggling and growing. And if we read with a desire to live in His will, it will be the most riveting and consuming story we’ve ever read; The story of our lives, written by none other than our Creator, Healer and Father.

In His Love, Brittany

We The Forgetful

     A wise man once said “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”


     I fully believe in the truth of this quote. What this storyteller forgot to mention, however, is that although kindness may not be wasted, it is certainly forgotten. Millions of people walk the face of this earth each day without knowing to truth of the Gospel. They ride the rollercoaster that is life without realizing there is a true hope, true peace and true love waiting for them. These people have not forgotten the amazing act of kindness that Jesus Christ gave for us because they don’t know it!

     We, on the other hand, do know it. We teach it in some form every Sunday. We sing about it on Wednesdays. We sign cards with “Blessings!” and wear our Jesus t-shirts like they’re going out of style. But we—the churchgoers, the saved—forget the Almighty, Heavenly, God-Himself-in-human-form act of kindness every day. We get tangled in the arms of worry instead of the arms of grace. We rest our minds on the to-do list of the day instead of the One who has written a plan for our 24 hours. We execute breath after breath without using them for one simple word of praise. We have forgotten.

     Jesus Christ died on a cross so that we may know forgiveness, have eternal life and experience true, passionate and perfect love. We forget that. But that’s not all we forget. We forget that Jesus also rose again! From the dead! Three days later! Not only did Jesus—God in flesh—love us so much that he came down to earth to live and die for us, He also loved us to a depth that left His heart desiring to be with us again one day. And so He arose. We make a point to forget that as well. It shows in our words, our actions, our thoughts and our lack of praise. We, as the church, have become forgetful.

     His act of kindness was flawless. And He did it for the most flawed of creations. He did it for us.

     So as we celebrate Easter, the time in which Christ arose again, I am asking God to awaken our hearts as well. That we may rise up from the ashes of forgetfulness and allow the memory and truth of what He did be the center of our every thought, action, word and praise.



In His Love,
Brittany

More Than A Memory: A year since you left

It is said that when you lose someone you love, you enter the stages of grieving. These steps include denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. One stage may be visited longer than another and sometimes those who are grieving revert back to a prior stage or simply start at the beginning again. They say that once you’ve reached the stage of acceptance, you learn to continue your life, holding close to your heart the memory of the one you lost. 

I don’t know who initially came up with this idea or these steps, but I must say that they do know something about losing a loved one. It was hard. There were moments in which I refused to believe you were gone. Some moments were filled with despicable shouting and rage. I spent weeks asking if there was anything I could have done to save you that night, negotiating and bargaining with myself. And finally, I fell into an extreme hopelessness before accepting that you are now in Heaven. It was beyond hard. That part, they were right about. 

But what these people didn’t know was what life was like with you in it. They didn’t grow up with you by their side. They had never heard you burst into laughter or caught the excitement in your voice when you talked about fixing an old truck. They were never the victim of one of your sly insults, with that cunning grin plastered on your face. They were never blessed by knowing you. And so when they say that after accepting you’re in Heaven and no longer on earth, we learn to keep living life, holding your memory close to our heart… they have it wrong. 

You are more than a memory. You’re the whisper of the wind in the middle of hunting season. You’re the laugh of a two year old who has your eyes. You’re a reoccurring tear on the cheek of your mom and dad. You’re the pictures in the frames, smiling back at us. The purr of an old engine being revved. And sometimes when I least expect it, you’re right beside me, reminding me that it’s all going to be alright. 

You are more than a memory, Joshua Tyler Shelton. And though we miss you greatly, we thank you for a year full of reminders.

I love you,

Brittany Jade

SoapBox Status

Recently, in a conversation with a close friend, I shared that I have been greatly enjoying the soap box that Pastor Dennis has been on for the past couple of weeks. Before I could go any further, her facial expression stopped me in my tracks. Her face had twisted up in disbelief and disgust. Of course, I then asked what was wrong. She proceeded to tell me how rude it was that I had used the phrase “soap box” while referring to the messages my pastor had been delivering on Sunday mornings. 

I was stunned. Dumbfounded. Never had I meant for this phrase to be a negative one. But it led me to some pretty deep thinking. Two words compose this phrase; soap and box. I spent time pondering both words individually. When I think about soap, I think about cleanliness. Sweet smells, renewed freshness and a crisp mental satisfaction in knowing my hygiene has been restored are all a part of my considerations of soap. The word box has a different connection entirely. Boxes! They hold things. They’re stackable. Often times, one might even flip a box upside down in order to stand on it to grasp something out of their normal reach. Boxes are sturdy and strong.

Now, put the two together. After researching, I learned that the earliest use for the term "on a soap box" was in 1907 when people would stand upon the wooden crates used to transport boxes of soap in order to preach or give a speech on a public street corner. 

In my eyes and in my understanding, I had used this phrase with great intentions. To me, the messages that have been preached here lately have completely rocked my heart. God’s truth has shaken my foundation and challenged me in many ways. Because of that, I will continue to use the phrase “soap box.” Our pastor has been standing up in order to insure that his voice reaches all and has been sharing Truth that has the power to cleanse and restore our hearts and minds. If that does not perfectly fit the description of an authentic soap box, I don’t know what does. And so I raise a challenge for us all: Let us step up onto the soap box of Christ and share the truth of the Gospel until all lost are finally found.

In His Love,

Brittany Jade

Superhero Expectations

We live in a world surrounded by media. Movies and shows overtake a major part of our time and thoughts. This season, we are drowning in the Avengers waves. People everywhere are going on and on about this movie. I have no doubt that it’s a great movie and I even want to see it myself, but tonight, thinking about it, I realized how things like this build our expectations. 

With June 19^th (my mission trip to Venezuela) quickly approaching, I am currently in a phase where my nerves are in bundles, hiding in the pit of my stomach. For months now, we have been preparing, praying and counting down the days until we take flight into this amazing journey God has planned. I am excited, don’t get me wrong, and I understand that saying I have knots in my stomach doesn't sound the best. It has caused moments of stress, worry and frustration within me. Just a moment ago, however, I realized exactly where it’s all coming from! It isn’t a lack of desire or from safety fears. I now realize that it has been due to the expectations I have put on myself! 

We smother ourselves with superheroes and fairy tales and then expect our lives to be mirror images of what we see. I think it is about time to wipe those expectations away. I will never be a superhero who wears colorful, metal protection or one who can quickly fly to save the world. I will never have the strength to carry everyone around me and I cannot imagine that anyone would truly expect me too. I am no superhero. There is only One. But I know Him. So as I embark on this amazing mission God has laid before me, I ask that you would pray with me—that you would pray a reminder over me, that I don’t have to be a superhero in Caracas, Venezuelia. Would you pray an reassurance over me? Would you pray that I walk in the authority, trust and faith that my God, my superhero, has it all in His hand and that He will use me as His willing vessel? Because I can’t save anyone. I have no super powers or magic mechanisms and I’ll never be able to fly. But I do have the answer. Please pray that I would not, in any circumstance, lose sight of this. Please join with me and pray that this mission trip would be glorifying and fruitful for our Superhero’s Kingdom. 

In His Love,

Brittany Jade